Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
