You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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