I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this just has baby written all over it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize