wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hippo gnu deer
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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