Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
