Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
