Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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