last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
