You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
