Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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