I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
