all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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