just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
