Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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