Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
