And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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