I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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