i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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