I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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