You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
