The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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