She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
