Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize