Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
