no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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