You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize