Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
