That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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