maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
