Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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