I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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