Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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