He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
