fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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