my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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