so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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