So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
