shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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