He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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