Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The beer is more important than you right now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
