come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
