I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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