My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
