Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
