Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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