Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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