Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
