I think I am morally bankrupt
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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