Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
