We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
