so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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