I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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