You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
