I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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