I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
