tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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