I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
