so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
