Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
