Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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